Cocktails In Boquete

We lost the old comments but installed a new system as of today. Talk back or add your own Lolita or general Boquete experiences if you want.

Posted by petefredbob at 07:23 PM | Permalink

Today is my birthday and I'll be heading out for much needed martinis tonight. I'm pretty far along with getting over the delayed impact of having the bar, a year of my life and most of my possessions stolen by the bitch of Boquete. Did the depression and impotent rage thing and have pretty much settled into the cold realm of slow revenge. I'm not sure how that's going to happen, but of necessity it will be simmering on the back burner. It will likely take years.

In the meantime I'll post one last story, related to me a couple of weeks ago, furthering the concept that Lolita is simply a piece of crap. The story needs some background for context as it concerns not me, but my former employees.

First off, my employees were great. Each one was different, each came from different places, each had different abilities and were at different levels of training as far as the bar was concerned.

Continue reading "Another chapter of La Babosa Gorda Project" »

Posted by petefredbob at 01:37 AM | Permalink

The cruelest and most low thing that Lolita did was to befriend and then betray my then (now ex) girlfriend. As a gringo I'm culturally fair game. By way of explanation (for those inured to the facts on the ground) I remind you that we are seen as cultural imperialists running roughshod over the rest of the world.

In other words, as a white, male-American (my use here of the self-descriptor 'American' is considered by many to be culturally insensitive) I'm party by default to many persistent ills that seem to plague Latin America, and reparations may be extracted by any means available. To put that in plaintext English: I'm a gringo so it's locally seen as OK if Lolita steals from me. Not so with Claudete, and here is where she made her mistake.

A well-off Latina, adopted as a child along with her sister out of poverty and cared for like blood family, stole from a hard-working Latina of more humble means and background. I'm not sure that Lolita's 'father,' a former mayor of Boquete, is aware of or would be surprised at what she did, but I'm sure her estranged sister (by all accounts a respected professional living in Panama City) would find it par for the course.

Over the year that I physically built up the bar and improved the apartment upstairs to make it fit for living, finances for me and Clau were, to put it mildly, up and down. Everything we had was invested. We didn't even have a car during this time as we sold the one we had for capital (as well as a few thousand dollars worth of professional camera equipment and other items). The final bill for simply rewiring the building to make it safe and usable ran close to three thousand dollars.

['Funny' aside: Our original "electrician," Georgie or Jorge, was a long-time employee of Lolita's who touched me for an advance one day and never came back to finish the job. He was later found copulating with a dog on Lolita's finca, which is apparently what you need to do to get fired. As long as he was her dog he was fine, but as she's proudly known as an animal lover herself- don't cut in on her turf.]

May of last year found Clau back in Costa Rica to try and sell the above-mentioned car and she wound up finding decent work at a call center in San Jose. It was finally sold after an excruciating three months, and as our finances had by that point dwindled to nothing we decided it would be best for her to stay there and work while I went on putting things together in Panama. Things stayed like that, with her occasionally coming down for the occasional weekend, until the week the bar opened.

When we first moved in Lolita spent many a supper hour at our table. Clau had me research the Atkins/ South Beach diet and its variations and then proceeded to cook for and feed Lolita. I would of course occasionally find her stuffing her face afterwards in her cantina, so it's no surprise that the diet didn't do all that much for her. After, whenever Clau would come down to visit she would cook for her then as well. I also would occasionally whip up some chow, a cake or something special like Chicken Parmesan and bring some over for Lolita and her girls.

Clau would also do little favors like send medicine from Costa Rica that wasn't available in Panama and bring little gifts when she visited. They chatted frequently on MSN about the usual, female problems, men, family, whatever. Lolita told Clau a number of times that I was the only gringo she liked and trusted. You get the idea. As a matter of fact, as Lolita was setting us up on that final day, she was chatting with Clau on the internet telling her that everything was fine.

Clau was scheduled to go for an operation to cut out a fatty growth the doctors had found and she was terrified of going under the knife. Lolita knew it. She also knew that I didn't want to upset Clau by telling her of Lolita's increasingly bizarre behavior- including Lolita chasing behind me and a dinner companion in her car and forcing us off the road. I still had hope that our lawyer could talk to her lawyer and sort things out by injecting some calm into the situation.

(BTW: She drives a maroon Prado with blacked-out windows and bad tires.)

That was not to be, and, after sleeping that night with a large kitchen knife beside the bed, in the morning I had to tell Clau what had happened. Gratefully, she immediately got that Lolita had been playing her and responded calmly. She contacted Lolita to try to see what could be salvaged, which turned out to be nothing. Lolita continued to play a double game, and kept adding to the 'bill' that she said we/Claudete owed.

As Clau had just taken time off from her job to come down and open the bar she would have had to come down just for a weekend to try and settle the 'bill.' But as Lolita had been offered that money already by my partners- and refused, and as the lease was set to expire on April first, and as Lolita had denied that she had any business with me or the partners, and as I wasn't allowed within 500 yards of the place because of false assault charges, this was just a ruse to take another chunk of money. Disgusting.

So Claudete has lost her clothes, her furniture, music and scads of personal stuff that couldn't be of interest to the fat one, not to mention her money, time and effort (Clau was shoveling gravel with me on the evening before we opened to add more parking) because of some stupid, envious bitch that thought I was paying my bartenders too much money. If for no other reason I will hound this pig to her dying day.

Next week I'll post links to the photos that I took and the directions to her property that she wanted me to sell for her. Thank God I was too busy with the bar to have done more than I did, but I was working on it and was in contact with a local agency in Boquete.

Posted by petefredbob at 05:05 PM | Permalink

Sad to say but I'm back in the States after having to give up on getting the rest of my stuff back. I'm lucky to have friends that gave to the cause with cash and places to stay while I figure out my next move. Friends in Panama and Costa Rica were extremely helpful, and if it hadn't been for certain people in Panama helping out (you know who you are but will remain anonymous here) I would have literally lost everything but the clothes on my back.

I thank everyone not only for their faith in me, but for sticking with me when things got rough. I'll remember the kindnesses and endeavor to return them when I can, as well as whatever cash I can muster up over time. This gives me a reason to set out again and find another adventure, though the direction isn't yet clear. Will I learn from my mistakes? Who knows?

When I was a kid a group of us used to climb up to the top of a thin tree and swing it back and forth until it bent enough to fall toward another tree where we would all try and switch over before the decreasing ballast allowed the original tree whip back. Of course we pushed it- taller trees, more kids, more risk, more danger, more adrenaline, more broken branches and thuds from the ground. The payoff was to look back and say wow, look what we just did. Somehow nobody died.

Cocktails in Boquete was kind of like that. The looks I get from my friends back home remind me that I lost thirty pounds getting there, endured sickness, hundreds of bug bites, corrupt officials, simply dangerous and armed people, lack of sleep and an astounding lack of professionalism in virtually all the professions.

The bar was a success in all but endurance, and yes, that of course would be the most important part of any business. And though it sucks, and hurts, to have not made it pay off, I can still look back at it and say wow.

That doesn't mean I will let up on the fat one- that's just a public service. I'm just going to have to figure out how to balance my revenge (in as healthy a manner as is possible with such a thing) with my need to move forward into something new and pay my bills. If nothing else I hope to continue to entertain here as I sort through my options.

Thanks again for the support.

Posted by petefredbob at 01:13 PM | Permalink

Photo of Maria Dolores Guerra Romero (Lolita aka Lola) Cedula # 4-138-645 and her two adopted daughters sitting in my bar, Cocktails In Boquete.

I can't say I wasn't warned. Repeatedly. But sometimes one's choices are limited and experience is a harsh mistress. Two years of running legitimate businesses in Costa Rica taught me well that if you don't have the backing of the right people, officially in or out of the government -in all iterations- it means near certain failure. Egos need to be stroked, respect has to be paid and cash has to find its way to where it needs to go.

When my girlfriend and I first came to Boquete in January of 2007 we tried that route, and after renting and moving into a place we sought a meeting with the mayor, or alcalde. This was the guy that had the final veto over whether or not we would be granted a patente, or operating permit, or so we were told by our landlord. After three weeks of arranging meetings and sitting and waiting we were told there was a problem.

We forced our landlord to accompany us to the next meeting when he was told that unless major structural changes were made to the building we would not be allowed to open. It was clear that our landlord had been aware of this at an earlier time.

This experience pointed to a typical play made by a certain type of folk: hook the gringo into a lease, let him make a substantial investment, then in order not to lose what he'd already spent, force him into making improvements to the property itself thereby increasing its value to the property owner. Of course that's just the beginning.

Now that the game was out in the open we were able to break the lease without having spent anything except for the lost rent and time. We needed a new place, and having annoyed the mayor's office, a new idea. That's when we met Lolita, a person that not only despised the mayor but our current landlord as well. She was a local institution with many friends on the police force and offered to rent us a better place at the same price (a poke in the eye to our landlord) and further allow us to operate our business under her own patente (a poke in the eye to the mayor).

Here's where the decision gets made. Having identified the warring parties and a portion of the local political structure one needs to choose sides- and take the consequences. I found Lolita's rustic wild-west attitude amusing (she has a habit of wandering around waving a long barrel revolver) and my girlfriend hit it off with her immediately (there are different brands of crazy). I was to be given free reign to do whatever I wanted to do, the only required improvement was that as my building was a free standing structure there needed to be a physical connection between it and the building next door (which housed Lolita's mini super and cantina). This would provide the legal fig leaf for the patente.

Thus begins the story as we, or- here is the important part- my girlfriend signed the lease on April first. This signature became the basis of Lolita's ultimate legal maneuver to have me thrown out on my ass. She denied knowing who I was, never mind having had done business with me (even as a local cop- who I had lent power tools to and knew quite well- stood there in front of my bar locking me out). She claimed that the legal leaseholder had abandoned the place and moved back to Costa Rica with her husband, though said leaseholder had cooked Lolita dinner about a week and a half before. For good measure she threw in a denuncia against me for assault, though I only found out about that the following day.

More next week.

Posted by petefredbob at 09:20 AM | Permalink

Doing business in Central America can be fraught with situations not normally encountered in civilized America. Perhaps that phrase contains a little bit of bitterness, arrogance and stereotype; so be it. What I'm about to turn this blog into isn't going to be PC, isn't going to be polite and probably not at all civilized. It will be a venting of spleen, a barrage of vulgarity and possibly have the opposite effect of what I intend-, which I will spell out forthwith:

The ruin of a certain woman that goes by the interesting moniker of 'Lolita.'

She lives, physically anyway, in the quaint small town of Boquete, Panama and has brazenly and with great glee managed to steal a year's worth of my hard work and well over twenty-five thousand dollars of mine and my former partners- all in public view and without fear of reprisal. This will be my only remedy.

In mentioning 'former' partners I would make clear that what follows over time will be of my own making. The url, or internet address is in my name and I won't be hiding behind an alias or other such device. Comments will be open for all who choose to participate, including the aforementioned 'pedazo de mierda.'

The object of my wrath has been running roughshod over certain portions of the Chiriqui province for years and is the subject of many a tale, a few of which over the course of the next few months I will relate.

Anybody reading this who has been on the receiving end of her Machiavellian schemes is especially encouraged to participate in the comments even if anonymously. In that vein I was brought to mind last week of one gringo lawyer I ran into about a year ago. He had had a run-in with Lolita's adopted son. Apparently quite a successful lawyer in the States he had encountered an insurmountable roadblock in Panama concerning his very small and insignificant case. I hope he finds this blog and participates.

The adopted son is to the best of my knowledge in jail and was the subject of a short discussion I had last week. The conversation was quite shocking to say the least and was related by a witness to events. Not surprising to me the son was a victim in this tale. Revealing to me is that many people in town know about it, but won't speak of it. I'll be digging for more details, especially those that are on the record and will talk about it at length in the future.

As she is a large property holder in and around the Boquete area my first order of business is to put a warning out to anyone shopping for land. She is a cheat and a thief and has contacts in various ministries that could, I say 'could,' put a buyer in a serous bind.

You could ask the Union Fenosa electric company about the reservoir just northeast of Cielo Paraiso. That she's willing to tangle with large international companies and banking institutions for amounts into the millions of dollars and use shady contacts in the Supreme Court to sway things her way should give one pause.

There, you've been warned. My part is a small one here and ultimately meaningless, but if I can screw up just one deal of hers or save one person from getting screwed like I was I'll be a happy camper. Enjoy!

Posted by petefredbob at 04:46 PM | Permalink

The bar remains closed and will remain closed for the foreseeable future, at least under my management in its current location. Details will come this weekend. Thanks for everyone's interest and concern as it has been greatly appreciated.

Posted by petefredbob at 08:08 AM | Permalink

So in an absolutely crazy stereotypical Central American fashion Cocktails in Boquete has unceremoniously closed. At least for the time being. There are lawyers and police and more.

I saw it coming a few days in advance and was fast enough to get some of my personal things out, with legal assistance, and lucky enough to have partners with the means to help. There are people working on it from a couple of angles to get us back up and running as soon as possible, however our St. Paddy's Day blowout looks to be a dead letter- they got all the booze.

More when I can.

Posted by petefredbob at 09:45 AM | Permalink

I have no idea how Hillbilly managed to get in all of the photos. These are from Thursday day into nighttime.

Posted by petefredbob at 01:35 PM | Permalink

Last night was fun and we took lots of pictures. It was our first really busy night and the crowd was here right up until closing time, on which exact minute the police came in the door asking for who was in charge. It was all very genteel and all of that and we booted everybody out lickety split after.

Bad new is that I've been laid up all day with a dose of food poisoning and have no energy to do anything. Maria handled the day by herself but we're going to have to be closed tonight, and you'll have to wait for photos. Bad luck for a Friday.

Posted by petefredbob at 06:32 PM | Permalink

So Sandy brought the cocktail book home with her the other night and came back today with a list of drinks she wants to add to the menu. This one is called a "coup de soleil." White rum, Campari and orange juice.

Posted by petefredbob at 08:47 PM | Permalink

It's Tuesday and we have much lower and more comfortable benches, and, I still have all my fingers by the grace of the saw gods.

Before:

After:

I'm planning to quit the Boquete Panama dot ning site this Friday over censorship issues. It isn't getting me many (if any) new customers anyway and the tone is getting self righteous and a bit prudish.

Here in Boquete we already have a community site that holds posters to a moderated civility and Boquete dot ning was supposed to be for adults having hearty discussions. It was not to be. Pity.

A certain 'Bradley' had started discussions calling for a brothel in town, advertised and then reported on a 'swingers party' and otherwise generally attempted to mix things up by testing people's tolerance levels. He was ultimately banned for accusing someone of bestiality.

Here at Cocktails we don't moderate the comments unless somebody keeps missing the point, whatever that may be. Unless of course they amuse me while off topic by accusing me or another commenter of bestiality or some such. Then my Jersey can come out, so comment away and see if you can make me mad enough to ban you. Or at least insult you.

And come down on Friday with your favorite Lenny Bruce joke or routine for a free beer or well drink (after six PM) and maybe we can get Bradley to come by and regale us with tales of low times and debauchery.

Posted by petefredbob at 07:57 PM | Permalink

All right then, I guess I got to write something today to keep this thing alive. 'I got,' for grammar sticklers, is the way I talk, and I try to write the way I talk. I'm from Jersey, wudya gonna do?

Mychael came by today and enjoyed the pizza and lemonade, which we substituted for the beers, which meant she drank for free. It's Pizza Sunday, eh? (I haven't heard an 'eh' uttered by a Canadian in quite a bit, what's up with that?)

We put on a Shakira video for the girls today and Maria stayed quite a while after her shift to sing along. They said that if I played Shakira when there was a crowd they would 'shake' the cocktails to the music. Can't wait for that.

They're all studying a picture cocktail book I have that is written in Spanish and are asking to add more cocktails to the menu. Sounds good to me. I like initiative.

Tomorrow, Monday, is off day so I'll be working on lowering the benches a little and making a saw-dusty mess of things. See you Tuesday.

Posted by petefredbob at 10:16 PM | Permalink

It seems that it's photo night tonight so we can make our final bartender internet famous.

Meet Maria from Costa Rica. No really. Come on down and meet her. She's working the night shift today and from 2 to 8 tomorrow. She's a go getter she is.

And while we're at it Sandy wanted a better photo.

And an oldie but goodie, a little remembrance for Sieg.

Posted by petefredbob at 09:18 PM | Permalink

Ok, well that's better. The third shift hasn't even shown up yet and everybody gets to be paid today. Time for a nap in the hammock methinks. My work is done. Still some radishes in the bowl so maybe I do still have some work to do. Yum.

Posted by petefredbob at 07:54 PM | Permalink

Last night was almost boring from a distinct lack of customers. We had a few, but if it wasn't for Lolita and Bob coming by and stirring things up it would have been dead. We did have two brand new clients that accidentally stumbled upon the place, one of which is a socio of Christophe of el Hibiscus fame. They said they'd be back tonight.

If it wasn't for the whole money thing I'd be happy with just a few visitors a night and getting sloshed on the stock, but I've got to pay the bartendresses so it would be better for all of us if you'd get your sophisticated selves down here and help educate them in a respectable and 'paying' profession. We wouldn't want Yaris to get bored, would we?

Posted by petefredbob at 12:00 PM | Permalink

We'll try to pick up on the blogging from here on as we change from simply a construction update to gossip and shameless promotion like good little capitalists.

Immediately we announce that Sundays will be Pizza special day with "Two Beers and a Pizza" for ten bucks. As we now have celery salt and (well, prepared) horseradish Sunday will see Bloody Marys at a dollar off as well. We'll be awaiting Giovy's approval for our new recipe.

Our crack bartending staff, formerly consisting of the delightful Sandy (with a 'y', not to be confused with the lovely Sandi), has now been joined and extended by Maria and Yaris so come on down and try and make them speak English. Dictionaries are available.

Posted by petefredbob at 11:25 AM | Permalink

Updated below with better directions.

Starting on Friday the 22nd of February Bajo Boquete's newest dive will be testing the waters on its opening weekend shakedown cruise by offering two for one libations to all alcoholics and wannabe alcoholics in town. We figure we're gonna screw up somebody's margarita the first time around so the second one's on us. Come and play the odds and see if you can get two good ones in a row.

Been jonesing for a caipirinha or a martini or a tequila sunrise? We got 'em. No? We've got wine and beer too. And Pizza!

Traveling on the main road in or out of Boquete proper turn toward the volcano when you see the corner with all the old yellow school buses (across the street from the library). We're less than a hundred meters (or yards) down the road. Look for the two-storey white dollhouse on the right and park like a Panamanian.

Johnny Walker Blue or Green Label, Glenfiddich 12 Year Old, Crown Royal for you Canadians, Bombay Sapphire martinis and Flor de Cana sipping rum is going to be plenty enough to confuse bartender Sandy.

Update:

It's been brought to my attention that my directions to the bar suck eggs. For the first thing the yellow school buses on the corner that I described are for the most part- white, and of course they are no longer in service as 'school' buses. They shuttle to and fro on the Boquete – David route and have the word "Boquete" prominently displayed on the front windshield.

That the described corner also includes Boquete's library was of no help either. The 'library' (biblioteca) is just a small plain building lacking much in the way of visible signage noticeable as you drive. And to my consternation 'Cocktails' in Boquete doesn't have a real sign yet either. Airbox international mail and package services decided not to open Saturday, for reasons yet to be explained, so the fake neon 'Bar' sign is still in a box there.

"White two-storey dollhouse" seemed to be another problem. It's not really a 'dollhouse,' it's a real house with a sharp-peaked red tin roof with a rock garden in front. At night, lights follow the roofline and there are garden lights along the side of the road. Cocktails is next to the bar Recuerdos, which is the building with all the tigers painted on the front of it.

So here goes again, and my apologies for trying to be cute instead of more informative:

On the main road in or out of Boquete take the turn just south of the Hotel Fundadores. Head west (toward the volcano) across a little bridge for a hundred yards or so. Right in front of you will be a building with large colorful tigers painted on it. Cocktails is next door to it on the right, attached by a red awning. Park anywhere you can find a space.

If you know where the Union Fenosa electric company is: From there head south down the hill and around the bend for a hundred yards or so. We are the first building on the right.

The 'two for one' drink special has proven quite popular with couples, and as today (Sunday) is the last day you can take advantage of this particular madness we're going to go one step further and have a 'two-beer-and-a-pizza' special for ten bucks until six PM this evening. Si hay Panama.

Our hours are noon to midnight Tuesday through Thursday. Fridays we're open until one AM and on Saturday until three or there are no more customers. Sunday we open at noon.

We will be closed on Mondays until enough clients begin knocking on the door to change my mind.

Sorry to those that spent time trying to find the place and couldn't. I'm guessing Amigos picked up the slack smartly.

Posted by petefredbob at 07:53 PM | Permalink

Did a 'classic' strawberry daiquiri and another caipirinha. The daiquiri had too much lime (limon) and the caipirinha had a different flavor tonight because of different limons. We're going to have to try and find a good regular source of fruit.

A couple of fellas came by with a sack of 'oranges' that Sandi had her eye on. She thought one of them looked like a Mandarin because of its color. She peeled it, it looked like a good eating orange. Until she bit into it. She made me try it too. It tasted like a lemon. Weird.

No Cubans came by tonight so we cranked up the samba.

Posted by petefredbob at 08:31 PM | Permalink

Great news for Cuba today, February 19, 2008: Castro steps down.

No matter what your political stripe I think we can all agree that Fidel has had his turn and it's time for someone new to lead these long-suffering people. To celebrate the transition today we will feature Cuba Libres for two dollars and Mojitos for four dollars.

I knew there was a reason we were playing the Buena Vista Social Club record last night. We'll try and dig up some Celia Cruz and maybe Ricky Ricardo- I mean Desi Arnaz. Bring your Cuban themed CD's and get a two for one special if we have time to play it.

Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga!

Posted by petefredbob at 12:50 PM | Permalink