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March 22, 2008

Get-Back Can Be A Bitch

Doing business in Central America can be fraught with situations not normally encountered in civilized America. Perhaps that phrase contains a little bit of bitterness, arrogance and stereotype; so be it. What I'm about to turn this blog into isn't going to be PC, isn't going to be polite and probably not at all civilized. It will be a venting of spleen, a barrage of vulgarity and possibly have the opposite effect of what I intend-, which I will spell out forthwith:

The ruin of a certain woman that goes by the interesting moniker of 'Lolita.'

She lives, physically anyway, in the quaint small town of Boquete, Panama and has brazenly and with great glee managed to steal a year's worth of my hard work and well over twenty-five thousand dollars of mine and my former partners- all in public view and without fear of reprisal. This will be my only remedy.

In mentioning 'former' partners I would make clear that what follows over time will be of my own making. The url, or internet address is in my name and I won't be hiding behind an alias or other such device. Comments will be open for all who choose to participate, including the aforementioned 'pedazo de mierda.'

The object of my wrath has been running roughshod over certain portions of the Chiriqui province for years and is the subject of many a tale, a few of which over the course of the next few months I will relate.

Anybody reading this who has been on the receiving end of her Machiavellian schemes is especially encouraged to participate in the comments even if anonymously. In that vein I was brought to mind last week of one gringo lawyer I ran into about a year ago. He had had a run-in with Lolita's adopted son. Apparently quite a successful lawyer in the States he had encountered an insurmountable roadblock in Panama concerning his very small and insignificant case. I hope he finds this blog and participates.

The adopted son is to the best of my knowledge in jail and was the subject of a short discussion I had last week. The conversation was quite shocking to say the least and was related by a witness to events. Not surprising to me the son was a victim in this tale. Revealing to me is that many people in town know about it, but won't speak of it. I'll be digging for more details, especially those that are on the record and will talk about it at length in the future.

As she is a large property holder in and around the Boquete area my first order of business is to put a warning out to anyone shopping for land. She is a cheat and a thief and has contacts in various ministries that could, I say 'could,' put a buyer in a serous bind.

You could ask the Union Fenosa electric company about the reservoir just northeast of Cielo Paraiso. That she's willing to tangle with large international companies and banking institutions for amounts into the millions of dollars and use shady contacts in the Supreme Court to sway things her way should give one pause.

There, you've been warned. My part is a small one here and ultimately meaningless, but if I can screw up just one deal of hers or save one person from getting screwed like I was I'll be a happy camper. Enjoy!

March 20, 2008

Quick Note

The bar remains closed and will remain closed for the foreseeable future, at least under my management in its current location. Details will come this weekend. Thanks for everyone's interest and concern as it has been greatly appreciated.

March 13, 2008

Screw The Gringo

So in an absolutely crazy stereotypical Central American fashion Cocktails in Boquete has unceremoniously closed. At least for the time being. There are lawyers and police and more.

I saw it coming a few days in advance and was fast enough to get some of my personal things out, with legal assistance, and lucky enough to have partners with the means to help. There are people working on it from a couple of angles to get us back up and running as soon as possible, however our St. Paddy's Day blowout looks to be a dead letter- they got all the booze.

More when I can.

March 08, 2008

Pics

I have no idea how Hillbilly managed to get in all of the photos. These are from Thursday day into nighttime.












March 07, 2008

Time Out

Last night was fun and we took lots of pictures. It was our first really busy night and the crowd was here right up until closing time, on which exact minute the police came in the door asking for who was in charge. It was all very genteel and all of that and we booted everybody out lickety split after.

Bad new is that I've been laid up all day with a dose of food poisoning and have no energy to do anything. Maria handled the day by herself but we're going to have to be closed tonight, and you'll have to wait for photos. Bad luck for a Friday.

March 05, 2008

Coup de Soleil

So Sandy brought the cocktail book home with her the other night and came back today with a list of drinks she wants to add to the menu. This one is called a "coup de soleil." White rum, Campari and orange juice.

March 04, 2008

Benched

It's Tuesday and we have much lower and more comfortable benches, and, I still have all my fingers by the grace of the saw gods.

Before:


After:


I'm planning to quit the Boquete Panama dot ning site this Friday over censorship issues. It isn't getting me many (if any) new customers anyway and the tone is getting self righteous and a bit prudish.

Here in Boquete we already have a community site that holds posters to a moderated civility and Boquete dot ning was supposed to be for adults having hearty discussions. It was not to be. Pity.

A certain 'Bradley' had started discussions calling for a brothel in town, advertised and then reported on a 'swingers party' and otherwise generally attempted to mix things up by testing people's tolerance levels. He was ultimately banned for accusing someone of bestiality.

Here at Cocktails we don't moderate the comments unless somebody keeps missing the point, whatever that may be. Unless of course they amuse me while off topic by accusing me or another commenter of bestiality or some such. Then my Jersey can come out, so comment away and see if you can make me mad enough to ban you. Or at least insult you.

And come down on Friday with your favorite Lenny Bruce joke or routine for a free beer or well drink (after six PM) and maybe we can get Bradley to come by and regale us with tales of low times and debauchery.

March 02, 2008

Drudge Writing

All right then, I guess I got to write something today to keep this thing alive. 'I got,' for grammar sticklers, is the way I talk, and I try to write the way I talk. I'm from Jersey, wudya gonna do?

Mychael came by today and enjoyed the pizza and lemonade, which we substituted for the beers, which meant she drank for free. It's Pizza Sunday, eh? (I haven't heard an 'eh' uttered by a Canadian in quite a bit, what's up with that?)

We put on a Shakira video for the girls today and Maria stayed quite a while after her shift to sing along. They said that if I played Shakira when there was a crowd they would 'shake' the cocktails to the music. Can't wait for that.

They're all studying a picture cocktail book I have that is written in Spanish and are asking to add more cocktails to the menu. Sounds good to me. I like initiative.

Tomorrow, Monday, is off day so I'll be working on lowering the benches a little and making a saw-dusty mess of things. See you Tuesday.

March 01, 2008

Meet The Crew Final Edition

It seems that it's photo night tonight so we can make our final bartender internet famous.

Meet Maria from Costa Rica. No really. Come on down and meet her. She's working the night shift today and from 2 to 8 tomorrow. She's a go getter she is.


And while we're at it Sandy wanted a better photo.


And an oldie but goodie, a little remembrance for Sieg.

Saturday Night

Ok, well that's better. The third shift hasn't even shown up yet and everybody gets to be paid today. Time for a nap in the hammock methinks. My work is done. Still some radishes in the bowl so maybe I do still have some work to do. Yum.

Bored

Last night was almost boring from a distinct lack of customers. We had a few, but if it wasn't for Lolita and Bob coming by and stirring things up it would have been dead. We did have two brand new clients that accidentally stumbled upon the place, one of which is a socio of Christophe of el Hibiscus fame. They said they'd be back tonight.

If it wasn't for the whole money thing I'd be happy with just a few visitors a night and getting sloshed on the stock, but I've got to pay the bartendresses so it would be better for all of us if you'd get your sophisticated selves down here and help educate them in a respectable and 'paying' profession. We wouldn't want Yaris to get bored, would we?