Our Friends the PFBs
I’ve been sick and virtually bedridden the past two days, and being bored, I finally turned on the tube. Switching through the channels I came across a station showing pictures of Haiti, and the voiceover was French. The announcer was pretty hot looking, and hot looking chicks speaking French used to do it for me, so I watched a minute, reading the subtitles.
She throws it to our intrepid reporter in Port Au Prince with this, “I hear that there were some funny stories about how Aristide ‘resigned’.” A smirk crosses the face of our man on the scene who goes on to talk about how the US kidnapped Aristide. The less and less hot French-speaking announcer then immediately says, as if scripted, “We just now have a report that the US State Department denies this.” Reporter Jacque chuckles and says, “Of course they would.” Then goes on to describe how the DEA presented Aristide with a dossier showing him evidence of his complicity in drug trafficking and that the game was up, had him sign his resignation, and tossed him onto an airplane.
Now, I kid about the French, and in the big world of politics, I criticize them pretty well. But those are the big leagues, and the US pulls off some maneuvers from time to time that I’m sure pisses them off. But this was akin to Dan Rather winking and nodding, “Of course the French would deny fucking their poodles.” In other words, it’s in their nature.
But even then, they want some of the credit. The reporter in Haiti says as an aside that France was the first to call for Aristide to step down, “the US finished the job.”
If I had any wavering doubts about ever wanting to visit France, these two assholes made up my mind for me; unless I get Jerry Lewis famous somehow and I go there to piss on the Eiffel tower while on French TV. [Jerry Lewis? Wtf? Ed.] [Sorry, come to think of it, they would probably pay to see Jerry piss on anything, the poodle-fucking bastards, P.]
