I'm Impotent
My first time in a VIP lounge at the airport. I feel a kinship to Ben Stein at the moment. Especially as I've read criticism of a recent piece of his about Deep Throat and Nixon, and I've just erased most of what I wrote the other day about Nixon to avoid the same hysterics. Nixon is the devil. Period. To say otherwise is akin to invoking the Hitler comparison in a comment thread. Nobody will pay attention to anything further you have to say. Unless you compare Nixon to Hitler; then it's a party.
The airport is still a crappy place to have to be, thanks in no small part to the terrorists. And the anti-smoking Gestapo. Ooops. Was that too close to a Hitler comparison? Whenever you fly, thank the terrorists. I think if everyone were encouraged to do so every time they had to take their shoes and belts off, we'd get a lot more people volunteering to go to Iraq to help out because the experience may not be much worse than flying, especially coach, in the first place. Imagine, a brigade of pissed-off flyers armed with nail clippers, Bic lighters and penknives. It may not sound like much, but I trust the TSA that these items are dangerous, and never underestimate the fury of frequent flyers with somebody to actually complain to.
Anyway, I've never been invited to a VIP lounge before, and never thought to ask. I assumed for the most part you have to join the "Admiral's Club" or whatever, but the nice lady at the ticket counter said were I to care to do so, I could lounge away from the teeming masses. Another first since 9/11, no special attention from the TSA even though I have a one-way ticket. Two out of the three nuclear luggage machines were down, which gave me a little extra exercise, but all said and done, I had a typical run-through.
The lounge is quiet, except for a fella watching a Mexican variety show at low volume. I have a wireless signal, but no internet access. The nice girl nodded her head and said everything should be fine, yet had no idea what a web browser was, and the guy across the room can't connect either. About six months ago I gave my friends a wireless router for their coffee shop, but whenever I return the signal is good, but no connection. They never know what is wrong, and I've pretty much given up reconnecting for them. They still don't know what a web browser is either.
