The Best Laugh I've Had in Weeks
Does anyone remember Ted Turner? He's the loopy rich guy who founded CNN, got real rich, bought a couple of companies like Hannah Barbera and Time Warner and AOL (after he made all the old black and white movies over in color), got even more rich, started to lose the rest of his mind, got thrown out on his ass, (well, it was cushioned with more money than God has), married Jane Fonda, called her a religious nut or something, she split and almost went on a bus tour for terrorists or something (until she was upstaged by Cindy) after she apologized to the Vietnam Vets she spit on, oh yeah, back to Ted, well after they split up he's now some kind of wacky-bored-gadfly and he recently took the terror loving Christianne Ammanpour on vacation with him to North Korea where he had a great time. Remember him?
Well, Ted made a guest appearance on his old station, CNN, and had a chat with the Wolf-man. Radio Blogger has the transcript* and an MP3 of the interview, and … you have to see this.
WB: But this is one of the most despotic regimes, and Kim Jung Il is one of the worst men on Earth. Isn't that a fair assessment?TT: Well, I didn't get to meet him, but he didn't look...in the pictures I've seen of him on CNN, he didn't look too much different than most of the other people I've met.
This is not a joke. Wait, there's more:
WB: But look at the way he's treating his own people.TT: Well, hey. Listen, I saw a lot of people over there. They were thin, and they were riding bicycles instead of driving in cars. But I didn't see any brutality in the capitol, or out in the DMZ.
It's a small place, and we do not have to worry about them attacking us.
I am so at peace now; knowing I no longer have to worry about the No-Ko's. I wish I could feel sorry for Wolf Blitzer, as I know at this moment he's most likely laughing maniacally under soaked sheets trying to get the images out of his head.
I became slack-jawed reading the piece, but when I listened to the MP3 I laughed out loud. There is much more, and if you want to see how far around the bend Ted has gone, clicky-click.
All right, looking this over I can see there's not enough meat to entice you. One more bite:
WB: What about those ground-to-ground missiles, and the...TT: They can't reach us.
WB: They can reach Japan. They can reach South Korea. They can reach a lot of our allies.
TT: They can't reach the U.S.A., and we can pound them into oblivion in 24 hours.
WB: But you don't want to get to that. There's some estimates, by the way, they could reach Alaska.
TT: Well, what? The Aleutian Islands? There's nothing up there but a few sea lions.
God bless him.
(*Note: I can't make the permalink work consistently, so if the link takes you to the top of the page, scroll down, or do a word search for 'turner' - or just read until you get there. Lot's of good stuff)
