Last Chance Cafe

Got tired of looking at the old photo on the sidebar and updated it with one from from an excursion to Tamarindo. I didn't buy the hat, but eventually bought a different one in Panama. I'll start to wear it after I finish the book.

Posted by petefredbob at 10:03 AM | Permalink

The maid ran upstairs, "Don Robert, otro scorpio!" I picked up a handy shoe, belatedly shook it out to make sure it didn't contain part of an advance column, and proceeded downstairs. This would be number three in the past couple of weeks and I figured I now had to do something about it.

I got to the bottom of the stairs and my girlfriend gave me a look. She had a broom in her hand and as I looked to where she was pointing it I realized I had just come within inches of it. The offending critter was on stair number three minding its own business hiding behind a potted plant. The broom moved swiftly, and faster than I could open my mouth to say "No!" a squirrelly scorpion was snapping its claws and spinning at my feet.

Why I used the shoe in my hand instead of my flip-flop clad foot, wasting precious milliseconds as I bent down to swat at it, I don't know. But it was even bigger than the last one, evil black with stinger twitching- now mush. "Why did you do that?" I yelled. In moments of excitement I forget she doesn't speak English. "Porque?" I tried as she gave me a shit look and started jabbering something en Español and the maid went to get something to clean up the mess.

It's bad enough to see one of these things coming at you under its own steam, to have one swatted at you from your significant other brings up all kinds of unconscious taboos. She is, of course, a Scorpio herself, and one wonders what sort of kinship she feels with the stinging little critters. I had to let it slide as I went upstairs for the local yellow pages.

I was having no luck guessing what they would call an exterminator down in these parts until as I shut the book, I caught a glimpse of little bug drawings. Fumagadores or something like that, and then I saw the drawing of a scorpion. Bingo! They would be by around three-ish.

I had spent some time on the internet looking up scorpions, and decided to spend some more. The scorpion most common to Costa Rica is the yellow one, with a sting similar to that of a wasp, though it can commonly cause partial paralysis and make your tongue swell. If you're allergic of course, it can be much worse. This didn't help my frame of mind as, number one: I'm quite terrified of wasps above all other airborne creatures; and two, my scorpions were black.

As with all other locals that I mentioned this to, the exterminator made that face, the one where the lips purse together as air is expelled, the eyes sort of squint, as if they're imagining foul things, followed by a slow head shake. "Yeah, they're bad." He said as his masked companion headed up the stairs with the jug of poison. "We buy our product in the United States and is approved by the EPA." I said I'd rather have the black market stuff if it would kill them faster.

They sprayed the whole house, top to bottom. One of the things I learned during my research was that scorpions like to climb. They are members of the arachnid family with eight legs. I had spent the last week looking down a lot as I walked around the house, and I realized this would be useless were one to climb up on the ceiling and drop into my lap. The Chinese/Costa Rican exterminator affirmed that, yes, they are very good climbers. I made them spray more.

There are more than a few Chinese and Costa Ricans of Chinese descent around these parts. I have a few Asian themed items around the house, including some used for Feng Shui. He noticed them and we had a nice chat about that, and he noticed some rainbow reflections on the walls and ceilings from the glass in my coffee table, and said it was good luck. I’m also building a fountain under the stairwell (the rocks I'm using of course are favorite hideouts for scorpions. Yes we sprayed them well) which he heartily approved of.

After, the crew left, the maid left, and the girlfriend went to the gym. I tried to take a nap. I dreamt of scorpions.

Posted by petefredbob at 08:32 AM | Permalink

Under other circumstances the takeover of port operations in some US cities by a UAE corporation would not be something to be upset about. By many accounts the UAE is an ally in the current war on Global Jihad and would have much to lose were our port security found wanting on their watch. But this 'war' is ultimately about propaganda and disinformation, and we're losing it.

The second term of any two-term administration usually has its share of PR disasters, this administration not excepted. The inimitable Karen Hughes has shown her feet of clay losing sight of the forest in response to the Muslim cartoon riots. The White House behaves as if advised by a cigarette company attorney, apologizing for the offending cartoon smoke, and suggesting a program of animation cessation instead.

My first response on learning of the ports deal was of the "what the hell are they thinking?" variety. Here we are searching Grandma at the airport and we're going to give over to the Arabs transportation hubs that are most attractive to bring in a nuclear or other device? Not my first choice. The response from the president was then the threat of an unprecedented veto were congress to try to block the deal. What?

How many Republican congressmen are going to sell out their stocking-footed and much searched constituents? Were my dear Grandmother alive she'd boil in oil her congresscritter if he did. If she had to get her ninety-two-year-old-Irish-ass up out of her wheelchair at the hands of the TSA she'd certainly make the effort to stoke the fire under the pot.

The enemy has plans. They pretty much shout it from the rooftops five times a day about what they're after. Most of us get the message. Perhaps the reason many Democrats think we're re-fighting the Vietnam War is because the enemy is re-fighting it. Why not? It worked the last time around. In fact, the military was, and still is, despised by those who helped us lose.

As it was then, the war isn't just between the enemy and us: it's between us and us. The left was able to take the war child of two Democratic Presidents, have it forcefully adopted by a Republican one, and then hound him out of office after he emancipated it. Those are results you can't fault.

The same clever people who were student organizers, now as faculty, run respectable academics out of Harvard on a rail for kicks. As Larry Summers exits, a former 'ambassador' for the Taliban enters Yale. With the administration's latest misstep they now get to label as racist those of us who want reassurance about our port security.

By missing the propaganda ball the administration blew an opportunity to build up an Arab ally and show the Muslim world that we welcome them as partners beyond the oil. Instead we appear to insult them by insinuating their lack of security or their terrorist ties. We can't afford many more strikes like this.

Posted by petefredbob at 12:22 PM | Permalink

So I need to ask people something, anyone can answer. Why are they burning churches in Nigeria over Danish cartoons? Why are they burning churches in Pakistan over Danish cartoons? Oh, and killing people. Why are they killing people that had nothing to do with making, distributing, or even thinking about Danish cartoons?

There are other places where churches are being burned but I want to limit this as much as possible to Nigeria and Pakistan.

Tell me what kind of sense this makes. Can you think of a way to communicate with these people?

Extra points for finding a way to blame this on Bush. But you just can't say it's Bush's fault, you have to make a connection. (for example: Bush offered the ports operations contract to an Arab country and it was an insult, as it interferes with sipping tea.)

Double extra points for ideas as to what we, as civilized people should do about it. Profanity encouraged.

Posted by petefredbob at 06:17 PM | Permalink

We just didn't have scorpions in Jersey. Except for a lot of records and a concert or two. In California we had them, but out in the desert, where I rarely ventured except for a few trips to Vegas, with the AC on and the windows shut. I don't think I ever even stopped except for that Greek place near the giant thermometer.

But here in Costa Rica I've killed two already. In the house. That just ain't right.

The first one was a couple of weeks ago in the garage. I've got a clothes dryer with the exhaust vent running on the floor to the garage door. When I use it I crack the door and stick the hose outside. I had just dumped something in the trash (also in the garage) and as I came back to the kitchen I looked down.

It wasn't moving much, and it had a piece of dryer lint stuck on its stinger. It looked kinda cute before it registered, "dude, this is a scorpion." I threw a towel over it, ran for the closest heavy blunt object, which happened to be a hammer, and hammered it.

I tossed it on the workbench to examine it. The bits that weren't destroyed by my zealous handiwork looked just like in the movies. Curly tail, little hooked stinger, lobster claw thingies. For a good week I made sure I had something on my feet before going into the garage.

Costa Rica is a wet country, even when it's not raining. In the dry season we're in now, people have a habit of starting fires to get rid of stuff they don't want; or just for grins and giggles. It's not uncommon to be driving down the road with the grass burning away on the side, and nobody paying a bit of attention to it. In California this would not only make the local news but also probably spread through the Santa Monica Mountains to Malibu and make it to the six o'clock news in Azerbaijan. Here, it hits a wet patch and goes out. They don't bother calling the fire department.

After my first houseguest I told myself, "Hey self, they like heat, they live in the desert, right? It's only natural that one lonely scorpion would cuddle up to the nice warm vent." It didn't occur to me to think about where they might spend their time when they didn't have a nice warm clothes dryer.

The other day I thought I had a mouse. I thought it funny to tell the maid, which made it back to me via the girlfriend, which was the plan, and I was amused with myself. I have a habit of amusing myself. I think I'm one of the funniest people I know. Of course, I realize not everyone shares my unique sense of humor, including mice, one of which I had plans for that included a box with really sticky paper on the bottom.

Last night I had settled down to watch some Japanese cartoons that I had recorded about a year ago. Two chicks, one with amnesia that calls herself Noir, make up a team that takes on contracts to kill people. Cartoon assassins with long legs and guns. What could be more entertaining? I saw the 'mouse' make a beeline behind the sofa.

I paused the show and ran upstairs for my trusty Mag-Lite. Alas, underneath, my sofa has this black material sewed to the bottom that likes to sag toward the floor, and I saw nothing. It's also kind of big, so moving it is a pain, and the little guy would likely just scuttle off in the process. I had pleasant thoughts of boxes with sticky paper and settled back down. For a brief moment I considered the fact that I had removed my sneakers, silently did the size calculation and decided 'mouse,' as opposed to 'rat,' and figured nobody was going to be nibbling on my toes. I sipped my Bailey's.

Then I saw it. It weren't no mouse, or rat either. And it wasn't slow. I hit the lights, grabbed a pillow from the sofa and smothered it. And I started punching the pillow hoping that the stinger wouldn't find its way through the cushion. The pillow was thick, and obviously comfortable, for when I lifted it old Scorpie was twitching its claws and turning in circles trying to get a handle on the sit-rep. I reapplied the pillow.

I frantically looked around, found a discarded sneaker about six feet away, did the math, lunged, swatted. Twice. There was much less left of it than there was of the first one. (Must remember: towel and hammer are more precise instruments than pillow and sneaker.) The tail was still recognizable but the stinger had made its exit, maybe into the pillow. Mostly mush and juice though.

As the heart rate returned to normal I put on my sneakers, (after looking well inside to make sure no relatives were overstaying their welcome), shut the lights and watched murder and mayhem continue unabated in the cartoon world. I went to bed.

This morning in the harsh light of day I returned to the scene, wearing my flip-flops, to find—nothing. Except one lonely ant nudging a small bit of husk. No juice, no splatter. Not even a small squad of flanking ants looking around for other tasty treats. I also nudged the carcass, if you could call it that, and the ant took off running for the door and slipped out of the house. Weird.

Today I'm looking down at the ground a lot humming 'There's no one like you.'

Posted by petefredbob at 09:38 AM | Permalink

Been working on a post for nearly a week trying not to sound so foaming at the mouth, but it's not working. I should give up on these things sooner. In the meantime I've actually cleaned up the blogroll and eliminated dead blogs and bad links. Also rearranged the sidebar to put the archives at the bottom where they belong and added a button for "Get Fuzzy," one of my favorite cartoons.

In the course of cleaning up the blogroll I actually read more than a few of them and ran across this Belmont Club entry which links to this excellent account of fighting Islamists in the Philippines back in the early 1900's.

I linked to this online book some time ago but it must have been on an old blog because I couldn't find it searching this one. It's at the very least instructive, and for me fascinating, and may give you a sense of depth as to what we're dealing with now.

Posted by petefredbob at 03:23 PM | Permalink

Diana West writes in the Washington Times: (via Michelle Malkin)

We have watched the Muslim meltdown with shocked attention, but there is little recognition that its poisonous fallout is fear. Fear in the State Department, which, like Islam, called the cartoons unacceptable. Fear in Whitehall, which did the same. Fear in the Vatican, which did the same. And fear in the media, which have failed, with few, few exceptions, to reprint or show the images.

What is this capitulation? Dhimmitude.

Wherever Islam conquered, surrendering dhimmi, known to Muslims as "people of the book [the Bible]," were tolerated, allowed to practice their religion, but at a dehumanizing cost.

The resulting culture of self-abnegation, self-censorship and fear shared by far-flung dhimmi is the basis of dhimmitude. The extremely distressing but highly significant fact is, dhimmitude doesn't only exist in lands where Islamic law rules.

I looked up abnegation: "denial; the rejection or renunciation of a doctrine." Sweden is shutting down websites for showing the critical cartoons, editors are being fired and media is falling all over itself to find reasons not to publish them. The doctrine of free speech in the West is being thrown overboard voluntarily. I would like to know why.

As the man says, read the whole thing.

Posted by petefredbob at 10:56 AM | Permalink

A very sobering account of how the moderate Muslim leadership in Europe started the current 'row' over the offensive cartoons. As opposed to my childish display below.

But tell me what is more offensive, my baiting Muslims and idiot liberals, or this:

Keen to "globalize" the crisis to pressure the Danish government, Mr. Abu-Laban and his colleagues decided to send delegations to the Middle East. They prepared a dossier to distribute during the travels. The document, which exceeded 30 pages, featured copies of the published cartoons and Arabic media reports about the controversy. It also contained a group of highly offensive pictures that had never been published by the newspaper, including a photograph of a man dressed as a pig, with the caption: "this is the real picture of Muhammad."

Or perhaps this (via instapundit):

Speaking by phone, AP executive editor Kathleen Carroll told The Chronicle, "The cartoons didn't meet our long-held standards for not moving offensive content. The AP is not just an indiscriminate warehouse for information. We put a lot of care into what we put on the wire."

The first is from a Wall Street Journal article discussing a very concerted effort involving 'moderate' Muslim governments and 'moderate' Western Muslim leaders to incite violence against the West. The second is the mealy-mouthed response of the Associated Press, quoted from a post from Harry Shearer at the Huffington Post as to why the AP won't run the cartoons in question.

Harry's point (not understood by more than a few of the commenters to his post), was that the AP was low enough to run pictures of Janet Jackson's nipple for titillation, but an important event in history didn't rate. Kudos to Harry; who, if memory serves, is not a Nixon republican. He gets this one.

Posted by petefredbob at 08:51 AM | Permalink

Here's a link to a short article I did for the American Spectator on the local Presidential election here in Costa Rica. It's short, about 500 words. Today it's on the front page but let me know if the link changes.

Posted by petefredbob at 07:17 AM | Permalink

Few things are motivating me to write these days, but the stupid Muslims got me going. Actually, it's not the Muslims so much as people I know personally that still think that we should leave them all alone to their own devices. Well, were that possible I'd go for the idea. But it's not. Wake up.

So, at the risk of ruffling a few more feathers, I here print my own insult to Allah, and Islam, because, well, they suck and they need to be told. And I can. To all you 'moderate' Muslim leaders out there, especially in Middle East, when you start to criticize the goofballs in your midst and denounce them like Christians do the likes of Pat Robertson et al, I'll grant you a modicum of respect. Maybe.

In the meantime, here's Allah, and Mohammed, having gay sex, and liking it, with Will from Will and Grace, while Grace pees on them. I call it "Piss Allah." Enjoy!

Here's a list of Mohammed cartoons and the other blogs that have posted them from Michelle Malkin: Click For Fun With Mohammed!!

Posted by petefredbob at 09:56 AM | Permalink