In Where 'Jump The Shark' Reaches Global Proportions*
Here is the second installment in my occasional series on GLOBALWARMING. The first essay can be found here in which I make the point that I'd rather be warm than cold. In this installment we take a truncated article from the Financial Times and study it using a tested scientific method. The omitted material may be inferred missing by the replacement phrases 'blah' or 'blahblah' or 'blahblahblah.'
My method will be as one faithfully used in the Blogosphere since the beginning of the second era of the 'Fisking,' though my intemperate use of the 'blah' has rendered a technical Fisking 'deniable.'
(Note by way of explanation: the copyrighted Times material (claiming fair use here!) is set off by the use of "quotation marks" and is indented and centered using the < blockquote > method. 'Blockquote' was one of the first html 'tags' that I learned, neat huh? My own analysis, um, doesn't do that.)
"A series of concerts "bigger than Live Aid"…blahblah…to put the subject of climate change before…blah...a global audience of 2bn."
Holy fucking crap!
"The event, scheduled for July 7, will feature co-ordinated film, music and television events in seven cities including London…blahblah…and Kyoto….blah."
The 'event' will feature 'events.' Tricky, but I don't see how they'll pull this off without using the 'Internets,' which are glaringly not mentioned. Maybe they should consult with Algore.
"It is understood that former US vice-president Al Gore…blahblahblah"
I knew it! It's going to be a surprise! Watch out for your laptops!
"They are promising a line-up of artists to "dwarf" that of the Live8 and Live ….blah"
Heh, they said "dwarf."
"The talent involved is just exponentially bigger because the issue itself is…blah."
A serious point of disbelief here- I need to point out that according to both Darwin 'and' Intelligent Design, exponentially bigger humans are impossible by July 7. This is a rare instance where two usually incompatible 'theories' come together to thwart a marketing point absolutely. Unless they're going to use robots, which would be pretty cool.
"The aim is not just to drive awareness but to get people to take action."
I was not able to institute the use of a 'blah' in the above sentence, as it would render the understanding of the following sentence even more obtuse than it already is. I apologize for the failure.
"These actions are likely to include personal pledges to reduce emissions, for instance by using energy efficient equipment or flying less."
So we're going to put on the biggest shoo since Ed Sullivan to get folk to take 'personal pledges.' Just exactly who is in denial here?
(* Back in the 'Happy Days' Fonzie jumped over a shark on water skis. Nuf said.)
