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March 31, 2007

Water: Problem or Solution?

Tired tonight. The water problem in the back isn't a broken pipe; it's a spring. Some creative solution is called for, including seeing if we can use the spring for our own water supply and going off the city grid or even going so far as to see if we could bottle it. That would be sweet, and I'll get a percentage if I can chase it down. Either way it's something that has to be isolated and dealt with before anything goes forward as far as construction is concerned.

The worst case solution would be digging a ditch and lining it with cement, which would be an incredible time waster, not to mention back breaker. If it's not one thing, it's another. Maybe we'll get lucky this time and be able to make a buck off of Mother Nature. I envision: Boquete Springs, Water from the Highlands of Panama, or some such drivel. One can dream.


March 30, 2007

TIps?

Been collecting entries for a couple-few days now and I don’t know when I'll be able to get around to posting. It's Friday morning and I just came back from a meeting with the electrician to add power and lay out the circuits. I'm eminently not ready but you take what you can get.

The lawyer for the landlord was there also we and went over what was legally necessary to operate under the existing permits, or patentes. We'll have to connect the buildings with some kind of structure to make the two buildings into one. This fits pretty well with what I had in mind anyway for a covered walkway directly to the back outdoor area.

Did a few sketches for the bar layout. The first ones were for fitting in the ideal workspace, then massaging the components. Now I have to figure out how to substitute those 'ideal' components for the equipment I already have.

Any tips or helpful hints from old-hand bartenders at this point would be welcome. Do's and don'ts, things to avoid at all costs, that sort of thing. At the moment from right to left I have the waitress station next to which is space for soiled glasses and trash. Next up is the 3-part bar sink followed by space for drying glasses. Then ice, cutting board with under counter trash receptacle, then the mixing station. The cash register next to that and then more space for glasses without stems and things I haven't figured out yet. Glasses with stems will be hanging from overhead.

Tips for the ideal setup of the mixing station would be most helpful.

Kicking Dirt

Did some dirt kicking today around the new place. Lots of work to be done but it feels good. The better half did some gardening and we filled a few trash bags with weeds. There's a hornet nest that has to go tomorrow, or as soon as I get some of that poison in a can that squirts reeeaaalll faaarrr. I hate those things.

I've come to accept in these parts that things aren’t square or finished construction wise, and I've made a mental list of moldings and other kinds of cover-ups that I'm going to need. I’m not going whole hog as it were, and I'm going to use a lot of bamboo to keep that rustic look, but there are certain things a man can't stand like crooked doors and windows. There will be sanding and painting and grout.

More outdoors work tomorrow as I hunt down an annoying water leak out back that's cramping my style. Can't have the mosquitoes giving the customers malaria now can we? That would be going a little too native for business. Names for the business have been coming and going as well. Today I considered going all 'Prince' on the place and just using a neon martini glass over the door. Could work. Hard to put up on a web page though.

Good Scout

"That's quite an outfit you've got on there. Is that your 'good scout' uniform?" The guy was sitting next to Don, who runs the BBQ Pork/Japanese Curry concession off the main square. Tan on tan and a tan hat with drawstring held tight under his chin by a colorful bead, and a bordering here and there of native motifs in black and red and yellow.

On his collar was a gold 'dove of peace' pin that I remembered from my more spiritual, if not-quite religious days past, normally the sign of a good Christian. It seemed like a good opening line. "That's a hell of a thing to say to someone you've just met," he replied. I was momentarily at a lack of words.

Don had a big shit-eating grin on his face; I can't imagine what he was reading on mine. "Is that a 'girl scout' uniform? My goodness." A quick retraction/explanation was in order.

Amigos, off the main square in Boquete, is a key meeting place for gringos to swap tales and start rumors. I missed the weekly Tuesday gringo gabfest this week as the speaker was going to be talking about the benefits of 'massage,' as his business happens to be massage. As I'm acutely aware of the benefits of massage (of various quality and legality), and the fact that according to an email off the list-serve we now have "quantum energy healing sessions' available to 'heal the planet' (guided by the previous week's speaker, Heather Rose), I figured I would be better served by ensconcing myself at a table downtown and opening my ears.

My new landlord knows all the cops. After a busy day yesterday I needed to fork over another two hundred dollars to her to cover various deposits (rent, internet, phone, electricity, etc.) and I woke up quite late from a nap. Claudete called to see if she was still at the bar, she was. We dressed and wandered over there, did our business and as I stepped out the door to dispose of a cigarette I encountered one of the local gendarmes yakking on his cell phone. I nodded a greeting and retreated back inside. A few minutes later he came into the bar, we were introduced and started yakking up a storm. Don't ask me what exactly it was that we were talking about.

The gist of it all is that we, for better or for worse, are now officially linked/associated with one of the polarizing figures in town. The part that counts is that we shouldn't have many, if any, direct problems with the police.

We'll get the keys to the new place today, do a little cleanup and prep work, and maybe start to move some of our stuff on Saturday. I found out last night that our address is on Cemetery Road, which is kind of cool, and if we're still around on Halloween we'll have a 'Cocktails With The Dead Party' with a visit to our 'not so restful' neighbors to spook things up a bit.

March 28, 2007

Short Entry

Busy day today even though I'm spending most of it at Amigos. Lease, phone, internet, gossip with gringos etc.

More tomorrow.

Oh yeah, paid on the car- five days to break-in.

March 26, 2007

The Car

Just got off the phone with my most recent Panamanian lawyer. It never ends. She pretty much explains back to me what I explained to her over a week ago. And I said "so?" and she said "duh?"

I hung up on her after asking her whose lawyer she thought she was? My choice at this point is to get another lawyer or swallow and go pay another $500 to the mechanic. And Pray.

The mechanic basically took the motor apart and sub-contracted it to another shop that did the work. He says he doesn’t have the money to get it back. I'm going to have to work up a big smile.

Photo Update

I got around to a couple of photos. Forgive me if you're looking for the picture postcard version of Boquete 'cause this ain't it, and that's why you have Google. The big camera has stayed in its bag and we'll get around to some of those eventually. These are more on a personal level.

First up the famous suicide shower:


You can see what an expert electrical job I did. That sucker is coming out when I leave so I don't have the guilty conscience of thinking I may have electrocuted a thrifty Central American family. Were I to be here more than another week or so I'd redo it, for now I'm just careful not to splash around much.

I don't know why but I just get a kick out of the fact that I'm living in a shack with a tin roof.


We're in the main room here looking toward the front of the house. Notice the sunlight trying to creep in through the little spaces between the top of the wall and the corrugated. Below that you'll see that modern convenience 'electricity' intruding into the rustic charm. For the roof panels we run the gamut from zinc coating (bottom of photo) which is ready to give up the ghost, to full on rust, to a paint job in blue which is showing signs of surrender to inevitable oxidation. Surprisingly, I've noticed not one leak throughout the entire structure.

On to Boquete. Here we see the clouds rolling in toward the end of the day over downtown.


We're looking north up the hill, the top of which is obscured at the moment. The trees at the left line the east side of the town square, the town's main road running along the west.

After a couple of days you'll notice the wind more than anything else. Toward sundown it picks up from the north, and hurls tiny little raindrops at your face. Right now we're at the cusp of the dry/wet seasons so more often than not I find myself walking uphill into the wind and rain to post.

To me one of the oddest things about Boquete is that the businesses for the most part haven't figured out that they need a windbreak of some sort for al fresco customers. I tend to smoke like a chimney whilst operating my computational contraption, so outside I am.

The fine and worthwhile La Montaña y el Valle The Coffee Estate Inn (where I stayed on my initial evening some weeks back) includes windbreaks alongside their outstanding cottages. These are a must in my book.

Bringing us to the new joint.


This quirky little place will house the most high falutin' bar this side of Hato de Volcan. It's back to Bartending School for me as I relearn the fine points of Whiskey Sours, Martinis and Manhattans, and Margaritas without that icky green mix.

The inside bottom floor has space for an intimate four or five tables plus the bar (I may do a booth or two), out back is a covered patio (which, of course, needs new covering) which can take six or so more. To the right side of the building (north) is lots of space to expand after the rainy season has passed. This is where the windbreaks will need to be. I'll be residing on the second story.

This is the turn off from the main road that heads into downtown Boquete.


My sign will be just below the one you see on the right hand side of the photo. I'll be needing to run an electric line of about 50 meters or so for illumination after dark, and it's going to be tricky as I'll have to run it under the road in front of my place and over a small bridge. This will take some balls and a bit of nighttime digging over the course of a few days to pull off. No one ever accused me of being right in the head.

This is the sign for the bar of my neighbor and landlady. She has a thing for tigers.


As a matter of fact there are about half a dozen more painted tigers adorning her place inside and out, and a couple of skins on the walls:


Her name for the place is Recuerdos, which means memories or remembrances in a nostalgic sense. I suggested a change to Los Tigres or something along those lines. She was not seeing it.

The place is pretty cool in a Hollywood movie-Mexican cantina kind of way. You'll find all sorts of interesting characters haunting the joint and you can find a fight if you want one; though the bartenders will discourage you. At night it's dark inside and a bottle of beer is 50 cents. I don't recommend asking for mixed drinks. The 'café' noted on the sign means there is a Nescafé automatic coffee machine, not food. And for the record: she is armed.

This guy chewed our ear off for about fifteen minutes one day so I figured I'd make him semi-famous.


I don't remember his name (it was difficult for gringo ears) but he was all excited about the time he won big at the casino in David. I'm pretty sure the money is gone.

March 23, 2007

Quick Update

Got an agreement in principle today with my new prospective landlord. I'll write up a list of 'needs' tonight and we'll meet again tomorrow and hash out details. I wrote a bunch of crap this morning that even I am too embarrassed to publish, so this is it before the rain sets in at Amigos.

March 22, 2007

More Tonight

Spent the morning discussing the pros and cons of the next location. The place is two stories, the second story accessible only from an outside staircase, which would be the living space. It has an area in front for outside tables and it close to one of the branches of the river. It's just off the main road into town and has a sign on the corner.

Landscaping and a windbreak would be in the cards and I would have a free hand to do what I want. We have to check internet availability and install 220 volts, but that shouldn't be a problem.

The cons include: The Panamanian woman who owns the joint also has a bar and mini-supermarket next door. The bar doesn't do well for a number of obvious reasons (to me anyway) and she wants help. It's actually a great location and space, but my girlfriend had to be dragged there at night because there is barely enough light to navigate to the place.

We'll have a sit-down tonight and see what's what.

Vaya Con Dios

Cathy Seipp has died.R.I.P.

March 21, 2007

Rain Go Away

Found another wifi hotspot at a joint called Amigos right off the main square. I'd have been a regular customer from day one if they'd have had a sign. At the moment I'm outside in a light drizzle as the new anti-smoking laws are little understood and differently applied. Amigos is a bar and grill, which means it can allow smoking at the area around the bar if it wants, and, after seeing a woman puffing away I lit up and asked for an ashtray. He rolled his eyes and said 'house rules' were no smoking inside. I pointed out the woman; the waiter got the ashtray.

I figured I wouldn't be an asshole and refrained from smoking another for 25 minutes when I felt the need to ask the waiter what the normal wait for a hamburger was. He didn't take the hint so I lit up another. The burger was pretty good for Boquete.

But after going home for the computer to take advantage of the free wifi I'd probably better not continue to offend, so in the rain I am.

Good news bad news segment: The place I'm in has been turned down before by the city for commercial use for a number of reasons. But I have another place where I don't have to file for a business license or do anything but put it together and go. It has its own problems, but no more than the place I'm in now. The rain is really cramping my style at the moment so I'm packing it in. More tomorrow.

March 20, 2007

Today's Vibes

Gringofest was interesting. In a break from nuts and bolts discussions of real estate and building techniques and whatnot we got to explore our chakras and learn that Deepak Chopra is a quantum physicist. I recognized a couple of people, got sucked into buying tickets to this weekend's local players' production of 'Boeing Boeing' for five bucks a pop and picked up From Russia With Love in paperback for a buck. There was a guided journey, which I missed, as I instead cracked open the Bond novel and had a smoke out on the lawn instead.

Our lovely redheaded speaker relocated from the "vortex" of Ojai, California to the more gentle vibes in Boquete and from the question and answer session seems to have rounded up a couple of 'clients' at the meeting. Good show. Um, there is a reason we're here (in Boquete, no less) and we're creating our own universe and all that. I chickened out at the last minute to ask her "what do we do if the forces of darkness are arrayed against us?"

The mujer is in a mood after her latest meeting with the alcalde. She's not talking yet so I'll have to wait and see what went down.

Certifiable

It's been an interesting couple of days. Yesterday I heard and then saw a couple of guys right outside my front window, which inspired me to run and get some clothes on. It seems the landlord misread the cutoff date on the electric bill. After some good-natured Central American mis-directions, I finally found the electric company not five hundred meters from my house and paid the past due bill plus a reconnect charge. They assured me service would be restored the same day.

I waited until six before calling to find out that 8PM was to be the designated plug in time, so we went out to get some grub. Lunch had been cooking on our little two-burner electric hotplate contraption, and the pot of beans was left on it. We returned around 8:30 to a funny smell.

When the electric assassins came we had called over the landlord with the bill in hand, wherein we encountered the bad news. After they left we had a sit-down with him and told him of our situation with the alcalde. As our rental agreement calls for the building's use as a business, if it's not ultimately approved the contract is broken. He agreed immediately go see the mayor.

He came back empty-handed except for an appointment this morning, again at 7:30, the results of which I'm waiting for as I write. However, another turn of events has made me hope for a negative outcome. The other day I stopped at one of the local markets not far from the house and ran into a woman I recognized as my neighbor. Turns out that the market belongs to her, as well as the adjacent bar and a few other outlying buildings.

Boquete is in every sense a small town where everybody knows everybody's history. She asked what I was paying in rent, immediately called my landlord a thief, and proceeded to show me superior location for a hundred dollars less per month. I filed the info, thanked her and came home to fill in the better half. The next day they got together and did the girl thing.

The lowdown is this: Being that the building she wants to rent to me is on the same property as her bar and market, we don't need the mayor's approval or any additional licensing. She's a local, owns an ungodly amount of property, carries a .357 magnum in her truck (she could barely hold the thing and it would likely knock her on her ass if she ever fired it) and has four rottweilers to keep her company. Rumor has it that she shot her ex and got away with it and is very friendly with the local police.

Bottom line is I save a lot of time and money and am virtually immune from any political shenanigans. Of course I get a certifiable landlord, but then that's all part of the fun, is it not? Now I'm off to the Tuesday morning gringo-fest to see what else I can dig up.

Still waiting on news of the car.

March 18, 2007

Free Day

It's the Sunday after St. Patrick's Day and the little woman is getting ready to head to David to waste some money at the local casino. There's a fair in David as well so the city should be hopping. Not one to get excited about gambling save for two or three times a year, nor do I much like David as a place of exceptional entertainment, I get a free day to indulge in as much or as little as I like.

I ran into a gringo at The Bistro yesterday whilst enjoying a little post lunch dessert who pointed me to a weekly Tuesday meeting of expatriates at one of the local hotels. 'Pete' lives in the capital and comes to Boquete once a year to enjoy the climate and hook up with old friends. Him and his wife and daughter were big on Panama City and Casco Viejo in particular.

The Tuesday meeting apparently consists of a speaker of some sort followed by networking with the 'been there done that' crowd. This week is supposed to be a woman speaking on holistic health stuff or some new-agey thing. It sometimes seems you can never leave the left coast.

The weather is gorgeous and it's heading towards noon so I'm off to some leisurely internet surfing and to upload today's missive at the outdoor café. Tchau.

March 17, 2007

Espera

The internet connection went away twice yesterday which kind of broke things up a bit. The scuttlebutt about the alcalde doesn't sound good, and as this is a small town everybody knows everybody else's business. We'll wait it out a bit and see what happens, and see what happens with the car as well. At this point I'm jonesing for a ride to the capital where all the action is.

Other rumor is that our 'second choice building' is owned by a big gringo developer here, and that he's fixin' to tear it down and put up a new one. We've got some time to hang out and we're not wedded to the place. I'd hate to commit to something and have to endure the rainy season if it goes to shit.

March 16, 2007

Stonewalled

Friday, and to the commenter who asked for pictures, I'll get there in a couple of days.

Just came from a meeting with my new lawyer and I have new hope. I just may get the car back by the end of next week. There is a festival in David this weekend which means nobody works Monday, which means some work may get done Tuesday.

My meeting was at 11 AM, which is the time the alcalde was supposed to show up at the house. Having been blown off yesterday again, Claudete showed up at his office at 7 AM this morning and waited two hours to give him another ration. She came home around 9:30 only slightly dejected.

It's coming up on noon and figured I'd upload yesterday's trash and check the email. Be right back.

OK, JP emails what do I think I'll name the place? The first toss up was 'Dos Bichitos," or Dos Bichitos y un 'Pato.' The dos bichitos would be me and my better half, the 'pato,' or duck, is an inside joke. But we've ditched the pato and are now thinking Dos Bichitos' Last Chance Café.

The 'focus' if you will is an emphasis on fresh juices and adult beverages plus some comfort food from the US in a bastardized Tiki Bar style. I'm thinking coconut shells for piña coladas and the like.

Back. Lost the connection just after that, and since I've gotten back on (5PM) my server decided to stop responding.

The alcalde never showed and it looks like we're being stonewalled for sure. The big deal is in using this property for a business, which it probably hasn't been used for before. We'll now look at two other places.

Lost the connection again.

Novela

The day so far: I've given up on the lawyer who is the boyfriend (for one and a half years) of the girl who works at the Internet/computer place and also the tchotchke store and called a real lawyer. I think. I have an appointment for tomorrow with Senora Pinzan at 11 AM.

A local taxi driver friend has taken it upon himself to act as a sort of go-between for the mechanic and me. He called this morning after having talked to Don Roberto once again, and we seem to be getting to the point of negotiations where everything is all a big misunderstanding.

I reiterated to Rene, the taxi driver, that I have no problem paying the bill, but I won't let go of another penny until I see it work. He'll relay that later on today to Don Roberto, and we'll see where that gets us.

Claudete left at 12:45 for her meeting with the alcalde at one, and it's now 2. This is all within a reasonable time frame and I don't expect anything for at least another half hour or so. As this is day three I’m hoping it's the charm, but I won't be surprised if we're on for another day. I'd like to be able to get the phone and internet ordered, and I'm getting tired of the novellas on broadcast TV. There's only so many surgically enhanced Latina actresses swinging between depressed crying jags at the tragic loss of a husband to a farm implement and unbridled happiness at rediscovering their long lost daughters given up for adoption half a dozen episodes ago that I can take.

March 14, 2007

The Premises

Forgot to upload the previous meanderings this morning, but I'm figuring an excursion to the coffee shop will be forthcoming in an hour or so to use up the last of my two bucks internet allotment.

The alcalde needed to be tracked down a bit but the old lady is nothing if not persistent. The next appointment is in his office at 1 PM tomorrow, or after lunch, which could be anytime.

In the meantime a local real estate agent is supposed to track down the owner of another property on the main drag whose tenant is about to leave for a new building. It's already an operating soda so there's no question about setting up there; it's just a matter of price.

Bought a can of Dos Tigres, which is a local brand of bug killer. I figured it should work on the ants and whatever ails ya' because it has pictures of every kind of bug you could think of on the label. Since I used it late afternoon yesterday I've only seen a few scouts and some salamanders wandering the premises. Even the big suckers that used to give me dirty looks while hanging around the back sink haven't made a show. Good enough for me, plus I like salamanders. They remind me of my long lost cat Crash who used to have such good sport with them.

The premises. I should try and describe them now as shortly after our meeting with the alcalde we'll either be moving or renovating. Just off the street there is a gated space large enough for two cars and a little extra. It has white masonry walls tapering from the house on either side down to about six feet at the gate. There's a bit of hurricane fence covering an opening alongside the gate and a mix of sand, grass and gravel extends 4 or 5 feet to the street.

The house is about twenty feet wide and maybe thirty feet long to the back patio, which runs another six feet or so. There is some open space behind that, another wall and some more open space. As you enter the main room is half as wide as the house and runs back about twenty feet before you step up into the kitchen. Two smaller rooms take up the other side, with the bathroom and shower alongside the kitchen.

Plastic conduit and junction boxes decorate the walls just below the open framed ceiling. The framing is irregular with warped two by fours holding up the corrugated metal roof. Toward the back of the house the metal seems newer, but in the front it's a mix of rust and various painted panels.

The outside walls of the house are masonry while the inside walls separating the front rooms are a couple of sheets of plywood slapped over a frame of whatever wood happened to be available at the time. There is a foot of space between the top of the inside walls and the ceiling/roof.

I would have been proud of this kind of handiwork when I was a kid building forts out in the woods.

As you might imagine there is a lack of 'sealing' throughout the structure, and though there are signs that window screens existed at one time, they are long gone. The floor is a multi-layered, multi-leveled concrete with patches of paint here and there which completes the rustic look. If the place is a go the plan is to tear down the wall to the front side room (two minutes with a claw hammer should do the trick) and go hog wild with bamboo and banana palm fronds. I'm also agitating for sawdust for the floor but I'm perilously close to being overruled.

I'll have to cover the ceiling with something as well, and burlap coffee bean bags are vying for top slot there. In the side room I'd build shelves for the books and the main room would get the TV for the nightly movie (or daily novella). I've got the bar area staked out already.

The only question is the kitchen and whether or not it stays where it is, or if we need to migrate it to the patio and screen it in. So far, the roof hasn't leaked and I'm loath to cut a hole in it for an exhaust fan (a code requirement and a good idea anyway), plus we lack storage space. The likely best benefit would be keeping the heat out of the place.

It's all academic at this point though until we finally get the jefe in the door and talk pavo.

Small Town Bureaucracy

The alcalde (mayor) is thirty minutes late. He's supposed to come and inspect the premises and let us know if we can do business here. In the meantime we're watching daytime TV, one half hour of which is described below. Now we're on to a novella.

I'm waiting to see how long it is before the little woman decides to go to his office and drag him down here. I'm guessing eleven o'clock.

The alcalde is the ultimate word around these parts unless you appeal to some government agency (regional or federal). The agency then sends a letter to the alcalde asking for an explanation and waits for an answer (thirty days or so). If they don't think he has a valid reason for his decision they can override him. You'd better be sure you're ready to live with the results though.

In other news I've been badgering the mechanic about my car. On Monday he said he'd have the parts and maybe the car would be ready on Tuesday. Yesterday, Tuesday, he said I should come down with another five hundred bucks so he could finish the job. Considering I've already paid over 2,200 out of a 3,000-dollar bill, I told him to either fix the car or I'll be there on Friday with a lawyer. He laughed. It's Wednesday and I'm waiting to hear back from the lawyer.

It's now eleven and we're off to lunch. Afterwards I'll upload and surf while Claudete heads over to the mayor's office.

El Springero

Reality show in Panama. I don't know where this is filmed/taped, but Jerry Springer got nothin' on this bunch.

First the aggrieved husband. Walks out to the stage toward the skinny hostess (OK, the show is now over and it's filmed in Lima, Peru) and immediately starts in on the crying. You see; his wife is a prostitute. If I were married to him I'd screw other folks for money myself.

Next: the wife. Pretty brutal looking, mouth going a mile a minute, she smacks the husband on the head as she heads for her seat. On second thought, if I were married to her I'd be crying too. Here's where it gets interesting: there is a daughter involved. She's on another part of the stage in semi-darkness and the hostess goes to her (though you can clearly see her face and the hostess ultimately tells her to look at the camera). There are accusations of Mom encouraging her to join the family business.

Next out is the 'ho's Mom. She runs out, smacks her daughter around a bit and the guards eventually separate them. There's a clip from a hidden camera showing the 'ho soliciting a couple of fellas over drinks.

The excuse for all of this is that the woman is working to earn extra money to support the kids (there seems to be another) and buy a new frock once in a while, and that the old man can't bring home the bacon. So next out is the boyfriend she's been supporting as well. He needs a new shirt and cowboy boots once in a while his own self.

But yet- boytoy has a wife as well! She comes out, hits him with a shoe and knocks him backwards off the chair. Hidden camera in 'their' home show him knocking her into a wall or three and shoving unidentified objects in her face.

OK, so this is all standard fare, right? At the end of the show the cops come in, grab the whore and drag her off for child abuse (through all the crying and with my meager language skills it's not clear to me whether or not the kid actually turned any tricks), and with the help of the second hidden camera the last woman has filed charges of abuse against her husband and the cops come and drag him off too. The sixteen-year-old comes out from offstage and goes to the grandmother (who actually looks younger than her daughter) and the crying husband sits there crying some more.

Now that's entertainment.

March 12, 2007

Inter-not

I've just uploaded the past few days of postings and don't feel like writing more, I just want to surf for a bit, but I feel a nagging guilt to further document my new adventure sans editing.

The fight with the ants continues and I've run out of bug poison. I'll have to buy some standard stuff at the store today and suffer the fumes. The guy from the ministry of health will be by the place tomorrow to let us know what we 'officially' have to do to get the joint legal. I also found out that we can get a 'special' permit from El Cauldero, nudge-nudge-wink-wink, to serve alcohol. This livens things up a bit.

Met an old gringo, well, not too old, that was ripped off by a Panamanian partner in a restaurant deal who is now selling pork sandwiches and 'Japanese' curry on the side of the road near the central park. He has a Panamanian woman with him helping out and my mujer managed to get some inside scoop on the locals.

One disturbing thing so far is the internet. I've not made it to the cable or telephone company, but two other ISPs I've called so far want $50 a month for 128kbps. One is a wireless company that installs an antenna on the roof and runs a cable to a router. I'm not sure about the other one as I hung up pretty quick after I heard the price.

More later, out of time.

Ants

The first night was full of weird noises. 'Tin roof- rusted' is not just a song lyric any more; it's a way of life. I awoke in the morning to strange sloshing sounds and it turned out to be the neighbor on the south side cleaning a mop in the space between our houses. We have jalousie windows, and the one by the kitchen sink, which seems to be permanently open, is just by the slosh spot. I made a pot of coffee with just enough racket to alert her to my awakened state. I'm guessing this will be a daily routine.

Went to the wireless hot spot this afternoon and spent an hour or so deleting trash and not-so trash email. I swear I would risk jail to have a chance to shoot a few of these bastards that steal my time. I only had time to return one quick email so I'll get to uploading this stuff tomorrow. Surprisingly only one spam comment on the blog, I guess I should be grateful for that.

Just got up from a nice nap and my housemate is cooking a little dinner. She got her nails done today and met the daughter of the nearest hotel's owner at the salon. She got a little dose of how gringo/Panameño relations work around here as far as hanging out goes, so we're set to hit up one of the local beer dives and mix it up tonight.

Hung a few pictures and started the first serious battle with the ants. Yesterday seemed to take care of a colony out on the back patio (Terro rules) and this morning was mopping up with the tiny little sugar ants in the kitchen. The neighbors on the north side have a kid from my understanding, and it seems said kid dropped a very delicious cookie somewhere that started the frontal assault. I could hardly believe the chunks of food traveling on my new freeway- beginning from right next to my front door, under the wall and diagonal across the adjoining room, then under the far wall to the neighbors.

I started with one ant bait right in the middle of the thoroughfare, then added another at the doorway interchange. I noticed the traffic was overwhelming the door spot bait so I moved the original next to it. The ants in the bathroom are taking their leisurely time, and the run out the back patio has changed to a new breed of fatter, blacker ants. The original crew has been replaced, so now my fifth bait has been opened, and I'm hoping for some relief before I crack the last of the box. I don't have my PO Box set up yet, so after that, I'm back to smelly spray cans.

Hot Water

Found a wifi connection for a dollar an hour today and I should have some time to get there tomorrow and upload this crap. Tonight is the first night in the new place and I keep turning over in my head all the stuff that has to be done.

Today was 'get ready for tomorrow morning' day, i.e., dig the coffee pot out of the boxes and buy coffee. A hot shower is also a regular thing for me in the morning, but as I chose an older, more 'romantic' building to shack up in, this is problematic as there isn't a hot water heater.

The Central American solution (I'm sure as well as other more 'rustic' places) is an electric showerhead. If that sounds frightening, then I think you're normal, because actually using one for the first time was freaky for me. For those of you who missed the bulletin, water and electricity don't usually mix well, just read the tag on your hair dryer girls.

As I am also right on the mountain where the water gets made fresh, it comes out of the tap bracing cold. So I pulled out the old multi-meter and checked the voltage on the bare wires dangling above the showerhead and found 120 volts or so. Off to the market, buy electric widow-maker, home to the tool bag. The head needs a ground wire; there is no ground wire available.

Again, to the uninitiated, not having a ground wire might not ring any alarm bells, and to the handyman, this might not seem such a big deal unless you know that the conduit used throughout the house is PVC, and grounding to a junction box isn't in the cards. The entire building is wired using only hot and neutral.

OK. Run a ground wire to the breaker box, right? Um, no ground. Outside box? To the ground spike pounded into the concrete (and hopefully the earth) is attached a wire, which runs into the wall, which runs up to the box, where said wire is dangling useless inside said box.

Knucklehead solution? Run one long wire from ground spike, up through outside breaker box, to inside breaker box, out through new hole punched in box and back through entire length of the house to farthest corner where new showerhead is located.

Without further frightening details I tested, retested and tested some more. I used a lot of electrical tape and took a lukewarm shower tonight. As you can see I'm still alive, but I'll be looking into other options pretty soon as I have to rewire for 220 volts for the stove as well. This may also be problematic as there is only 120 volts coming from the meter. But that's next week's problem.

Red Faced

So it looks like we're going to keep the place. Don Carlo (the landlord) seems like a decent chap, all our stuff is already in there and there's nothing-worthwhile readily available downtown. The great unpacking has begun.

Tomorrow is a big day to sign the lease, open a bank account, get cable/internet connected, change the electricity account and figure out how to map out the network and new power circuits. I'm going to go with Public IP to secure the wi-fi access.

The one thing we got here in Boquete is wind. The Volcano Baru, which we are pretty much attached to on the east side, is the highest point in Panama; thus the mild temperatures here as opposed to most of the rest of the sweltering country. Of course the higher you go- the more wind you run into. Plus you get the clouds running into the place, which makes for some hourly schizophrenic weather mood swings.

The effect of the wind combined with the frequent sun/cloud switch has turned my face into a beet. You never really feel hot, but the sun gets you. The Panama hat may need to come out soon.


Boquete

I didn't have my camera so I couldn't take pictures of the poultry living in my new space. Ludwig, the landlord's son, promised that he would have the place cleaned up before the truck arrived. This didn't comfort me as much as one might think. One might also think from the chickens that the place isn't exactly a palace. One might be right. But that's not a big issue, as the design firm of "me, myself and I" will be hot on the job turning the joint into a gringo paradise. I may even adopt one of my feathery friends as a mascot.

What is a big issue is location. My first impression was that it was too far from the main business center that surrounds the central park, though it's definitely a comfortable walking distance. During the day I went back and forth between 'downtown' and the feeling faded. People that visit love to explore and the locals all have cars so it seemed to get closer as time went on- until dark.

Boquete is a quiet place and just after 9 PM we walked back from the center of town and a fine restaurant. There are constant breezes through the trees and a river and a few streams so it's not 'cricket' quiet, but we were practically whispering on our walk so as not to disturb the peace. It was a rare house with a burning porch light or more than a few illuminated windows, and the new locale couldn't come up fast enough for me.

We'll need to discuss this today.

The truck breezed through customs with nary a look inside. What I was not aware of is that you need paperwork for the load from the Costa Rican side to start the paperwork on the Panamanian side. We hired an old 'helper' that the locals call Charlie Bronson for all the right reasons (If you can imagine, think Charlie Brown mixed with Charles Bronson). Charlie works both sides of the line.

Total customs transit cost: CR- $120 + Panama- $210 + Charlie- $60 = $390. Total time: CR- 8 to 10 AM including translating our paperwork into usable form retyping, stamps, passports and transit. 10 to 11 AM in line with the rest of the trucks. 11 AM to 1 PM passed by the first customs area (paperwork was already done by Charlie) into the bonded 'warehouse' section where the truck was opened and everybody had lunch, made jokes and entry paperwork was issued. No boxes were opened or removed from the truck.

15 to 20 minutes inside Panama the truck was waved through the second customs and control area (where about half the time they check my passport and tourist card) and by three o'clock it pulled up to our place in Boquete. Other costs involved in the trip were: $850 to transport our stuff in the semi- San Jose to Boquete; $210 dollars taxi from San Jose to the border at Paso Canoas (seven hours with traffic and construction); $100 for two days taxi inside Panama (including the driver helping to unload the truck in Boquete); and $21 for the Hotel in David for the first night (I went on ahead to get the space ready while the little lady stayed with the truck). Total: 2 days and $1571.

It's now about time to go out and round up some coffee and get the day rolling. See you tomorrow.

Panama

8:48 PM, Tuesday March 6, 2007.

Umm… 8:39. Whatever. The Hotel Cervantes in David, Panama. My toes are trying to creep out of the holes in my socks sucking for air after the long slog from San Jose.

It's not hot tonight as I hang out the window smoking a cigarette waiting for the sandman. There's no internet connection, and for 21 bucks I don't deserve the internet. I'm guessing at least a week before I can collect my email and twice that until the new place is wired up. I heard Libby is going to be executed on Friday. Hah! Just kidding lefties.

So what can one say about opening a bar in the shadow of a volcano in Panama? Sounds cool anyway. I've got a bunch of crap to hang on the walls for that 'homey' look from the States, and other stuff I collected during the past two years that should be useful. It's all on its way over the mountains as we speak and will arrive at the border tomorrow morning.

La Vieja is there waiting to see what the other half of the bribe is going to be. So far we're well under two hundred bucks, and if all goes well I'll be unloading into my new digs in Boquete around noon tomorrow. Before that I'll be heading over to the mechanic to see how long I'm going to be waiting for my car.

For those of you keeping score it broke down again about three or four weeks ago around five miles from here. If my woman hadn't already driven me to drink this car would definitely be the backbreaking straw. But I'm just going to smile and wave a few hundreds under the mechanic's nose to see if I can wake him out of his stupor. I'm fading, one more smoke and it's the rack.